Updated: Jul 31
Let's dive into the uncomfy feelings you may experience around asking for help and learn how to flip the script so you feel more empowered.
First, let’s normalize pouring yourself into your career, your hobbies, your family and your community so much so that you do not have the time, nor the energy, to organize your home. Having a well-rounded life is something to be celebrated, not stigmatized.
At the beginning of our first session, my clients often express some version of, "I’m so embarrassed because I really should be able to do this on my own''. This sentiment is the embodiment of two false beliefs that we as women are raised to understand as truth: (1) we are incompetent if we cannot do things on our own and (2) our self-worth is directly tied to our ability to maintain a home and support those living in it.
These sentiments have become so deeply ingrained in our society that my clients feel they have failed themselves, and their families, because they do not intuitively know how to set up and maintain an organized home. I remind these women that regardless of one's gender, many of us were never consciously taught by our caregivers how to employ efficient tidying techniques, and so as adults we continue to employ erroneous conventional approaches to establishing order in our home. Just like any other learned skill, designing a space that functions smoothly and that supports your unique lifestyle requires training. The roots of the belief that organizing should be an intuitive skill, and its connection to our worthiness as women, may run deep but we can begin to break free from these patriarchal viewpoints.
"It takes a strong woman to know when it's time to ask for help. And it takes a strong woman to be open to receiving it." - Kate Northrup
Running a household all by ourselves is neither necessary nor encouraged, and so I invite you to see what happens when you begin asking for help in the areas of your life that don't light you up (think: space planning and organizing). Try welcoming the help when it comes your way and see how the load you've been carrying begins to feel a bit lighter.
"We don't have to do all of it alone. We were never meant to." - Brene Brown
Remember, needing other people is not a sign of weakness; rather, it's a sign of strength and humanity. Share this blog post with someone in need of this gentle reminder, if you feel called.